Tag Archives: Kumi Koda

Four Styles of J-Music NO ONE Takes Seriously

So, here’s a rather mean-spirited post. I’m just bitter because I jinxed another good Visual Kei band so I figured I would take my wrath towards myself out on everyone who reads my blog. Not really. This post is only made jokingly. I really don’t mean (most of) it so please don’t take it personally!

Here are four styles of Japanese music that are so laughably terrible to nearly everyone who has the misfortune of hearing it.

Oshare Kei

Paradeis, The Worst "Band" Since Nickelback/Theory of a Deadman

Something about oshare kei makes me feel like some kind of magical bulimic princess in a land of bull crap, like I’m vomiting rainbows and bleeding caramel from my eye sockets and prancing in fields of stupid with an imbecile unicorn named Sherman. I don’t get the appeal of this stuff and I never will. It’s not cute, guys. It’s gross and I see it in my sleep. Oshare Kei is probably the thing I hate second-most in the world. (This is what I hate most. Ughhhhh.)

When Every Artist EVER Dabbles in Techno

One of these things is not like the others... One of these things just doesn't belong..

J-tek music has become wildly popular ever since Yasutaka Nakata took over the world came to prominence. I think a lot of artists took advantage of the techno wave, including GACKT. It’s tough to look at the guy who kicked massive amounts of buttocks as the vampire-clad vocalist of Malice Mizer years ago cranking out DDR tunes ten years later. Don’t get me wrong, I love Koakuma Heaven, but I’ve heard so many people bash the song just because it’s so out of GACKT’s normal realm of music. News flash, kiddos. GACKT has no normal realm of music. He tries a little of everything; that’s why we love him. Duh.

Girls Who Shouldn’t Act Gangster Deciding to Act Gangster

McRoll'd?

Kuu. Stop. Now.

Whatever Crap misono Puts Out

Please stop looking at me.

The reject Koda sister gets slammed constantly. So let me slam her some more! Misono has absolutely zero talent as far as voice, charisma, and all-around decency as a human being goes. I cannot stand her music.

Hope you enjoyed this sarcasm-laden post! Remember that none of it is meant to offend anyone, it’s all joking, even if I do hate misono and Oshare Kei. Ehehe. Just gotta toss the disclaimers out there anyway, just to be nice.

~Alisa~

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“Gossip Candy” – Koda Kumi

This cover is enough to make me go "Lol Wut?"

This always seems to happen with Ayu and Kuu singles. They leak about a month before they are scheduled to come out. As expected, Koda Kumi’s “Gossip Candy” has leaked early, albeit in a terrible quality rip. iTunes is saying its in 320kbps, but I am definitely not buying that. At all.

Lollipop is your standard frustrated, hyper-sexualized Kumi tune that just makes you feel gross listening to it. I was hoping for something like “Taboo” but this song is nowhere near that level. This song is hot, I’m not denying that, but its just too hot, as in you can tell she is trying too hard to be sexy. When you have to try to be sexy, odds are you aren’t sexy. This is the case. I’m not bashing this song by any means, but I am disappointed to see what could have been an amazing summer song go down the toilet, so to speak.

Inside Fishbowl is probably my favorite song on the single. Its got the summer sound I was craving, and has a distinct 80s sound. It also reminds me of Puffy AmiYumi songs for some reason. Good job, Kuu! I don’t totally hate you now.

…is Outside Fishbowl the same song…?

For You is a ballad-ish thingy. Its got a good tempo, but Kuu has a plain terrible voice for ballads. The nearly six minute length didn’t help.

Kuu’s cover of Got to Be Real impressed me quite a bit. She has put a modern twist on a song that was already good to begin with.

In Conclusion: This single is an overall “meh” for me, but I can’t say much until I hear a rip that has a little bit more quality. I do wish that Kumi could rely a little bit less on her sex appeal, but that’s her image and I understand and respect that. To an extent. ­čśŤ

~Alisa~

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A Post No One Will Care About!

Thought I’d post my top 25 most played songs in iTunes as I am bored and like bragging about my music. Feel free to comment with your 25. Or something. Uhhh…. yeah.

By the way, a bit of news. My next review will be of a KOREAN artist! I’m so addicted to the rapper e.via that I thought she deserved a review of her own. Stay tuned for that.

Alisa’s Top 25 Most-Played Songs

1.) Rose of May – Nobuo Uematsu
2.) Must be Dreaming – Frou Frou
3.) Misery Business – Paramore (this song’s about me, I really think so)
4.) Ya Soshla S’Uma – T.A.T.U
5.) Nothing I Won’t Give – Vic Mignogna (Yeah, I know)
6.) Kimi ni Furu Zetsubou no Ame – XodiacK
7.) Journey – MEG
8.) Kingyo Hanabi – Ai Otsuka (favorite song EVER)
9.) Aisu x Time – Ai Otsuka with SU from Rip Slyme
10.) HEART – Ai Otsuka
11.) Alice – immi
12.) Fly Away – Maki Goto
13.) Ame no Hi Wa, No Thank You – Toru Okawa and Michiko Neya (Roy and Riza song!)
14.) The Boy is Mine – Brandy and Monica
15.) Smooth Criminal – Michael Jackson
16.) Fast Car – Namie Amuro
17.) Planetarium – Ai Otsuka
18.) Mirror Ball – Aquamarry
19.) Suddenly – Gackt
20.) Physical Thing – Koda Kumi
21.) Crushcrushcrush – Paramore
22.) Copy That – Namie Amuro
23.) Come Away – Nini Camps
24.) One Night Magic – Utada Hikaru
25.) Hey! – e.via

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This Next One Is Full Of Filler!

OMG, I have been unbearably lazy in my dealings with this blog. For that, I’m truly sorry. I promise I’m not leaving, okay?

Filler. Its a word we usually consider to be bad. Its an episode of a television show that adds nothing to the plot. Watch any episode of Yu-Gi-Oh and you’ll get filler. Its a song that adds nothing to the flow of an album. It can be a boring song. It can be a song that’s so bad that you’re like “holy crap, where’s my SNES? I hope I still have that copy of Shaq Fu lying around because I’d rather play it than listen to this crap.” Pick up any Kuu album and you’ll get this kind of filler. (Kuu bashing! Ohhh! …sorry…) But I digress.

What I am trying to grasp at through stupid drawn-out references is that filler tracks on albums can sometimes be a saving grace, don’t you think? I’ve come to learn that.

As you may know, my next post is going to be a showcase of my favorite filler tracks, and for that I turn to you, my readers. I want to try and get as many responses to this post as possible, so tell your friends! Yes! Go forth and shamelessly plug my blog!

Anyway, I’d like you all to comment here with your favorite album filler songs. Tell me why you love them so much. I want this to be a fun project to bring all of us j-music bloggers together. I’m a revolution, aren’t I?

~Alisa~

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Early 2010 Report Card!

Don’t freak out. These opinions are subject to change, as it is only FEBRUARY for goodness sake. Here’s my opinions! Read them, comment on them, state your own opinions! Fun times!

In Detention: BoA, alan,  Ayumi Hamasaki, and Kumi Koda!

These girlies are selections for ASIAN MUSIC DELINQUENTS. Especially BoA. I’m mad at her. She has too much on her plate. I think before attempting world domination, she should try to maintain popularity in at least one country. She’s been falling out of favor everywhere, and she was just a blip on the American music radar. Asian artists never seem to cross over to American music well. This may be because many Americans are still convinced that Asia is a country rather than a massive continent. Uh… that was a little insensitive… gomen. Amid all the hoopla of trying to be super famous everywhere, BoA coughed up “Eien,” arguably her best song ever. I want more of that kind of stuff, not this messy “Identity” bullcrap. Chinese crossover alan has been working her butt off waaaay too much. TAKE A BREAK!!! WAAAAH! I’m okay with the fact that she has dabbled in electronica, more mainstream-styled pop, and the like but this is all we’ve been getting from her. She’s not Ayu, but she might as well be. I miss her more dramatic songs. That’s why I was so smitten with alan when she debuted in Japan. She was a fresh face and fresh talent who created art rather than just music. As for Ayu, I was disappointed with “You Were…/BALLAD.” It was uber weak. She needs to take it easy and stop cranking out double a-sides. This makes me feel like she’s rushing an album, and I’m sure that nobody wants another “NEXT LEVEL.” Kuu needs about a year’s worth of inactivity to redeem herself in my eyes. I’m sick of her.

Advanced Placement/Honor Roll: Namie Amuro, GACKT, and immi!

Namie didn’t do a lot last year. We got Wild/Dr. in March and PAST < FUTURE a zillion years later in December and that was it. I felt like the huge gap between releases built a greater anticipation for the album, allowed Namie plenty of time to create quality material, and kept her extreme popularity at the time from growing stale. I’m looking forward to her topping the charts some more this year. Oh, and is it just me or has she gotten prettier as she has aged? GACKT, unlike Namie, put out a crapload of singles last year. Maybe this annoyed you. Maybe you were irritated because RE:BORN didn’t have any new material on it. Still, you can’t deny that GACKT has so much thunder left in him that’s its not even a laughing matter. Even though he released a million singles last year, you can’t deny that it was all of great quality. Another thing about GACKT that makes me happy is the fact that he is having a lot of fun with this stage of his career and is experimenting with all sorts of musical styles. How else would we have gotten “Koakuma Heaven?” immi released the incredibly polished EPs “WONDER” and “ALICE” last year. She’s an electronica goddess with a great voice to boot. I have high expectations of her.

C-Students: Maki Goto and Ai Otsuka!

This ladies have the potential to be major flops or major hitmakers as this year progresses. Ai is releasing a double-a side in April. The first a-side, “Lucky Star” is already out and the PV dropped a couple days ago. It has a lot of promise as far as I’m concerned but others may see it differently. The PV is quite unorthodox and has a very Lady Gaga-feel to it. Seems like many artists are trying to use Gaga-inspired elements lately. Maki’s performance this year will be uncertain, due to her family tragedy. But, since her mother was her biggest fan, I hope Maki will channel the pain of her passing into new material. If she releases a lot of things this year, which is an iffy concept, I predict that she will break away from the straight R&B sound she has done with Sweet Black and focus on diverse musical styles.

The Drop-Out?: Utada Hikaru

OMG, where’s Hikki? I miss her so much! Please stop releasing terrible English music and make more stuffs like on “Ultra Blue!”

Well, there’s my long-winded speech about music and crap. Leave comments and your own report cards! By the way, before I go back to reviewing, I’ll be writing up a showcase of my favorite album filler tracks. Look forward to it!

~Alisa~

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